Scotland and Exeter Chiefs full-back Stuart Hogg says he came close to “walking away from rugby” because of abuse he received from fans.
But the 30-year-old says he is now loving the game again with the English Premiership club.
Hogg, who helped Exeter thump Bristol Bulls 50-14 on Friday, joined from Glasgow Warriors in 2019.
“I come across as a happy, confident person, but deep down I’ve struggled and I’ve hated it,” Hogg told BT Sport.
“And I’ve actually been very, very close at times to thinking ‘why am I putting myself through all this stress and strains, my body’s feeling absolutely horrendous and I’m getting dogs abuse at the weekend?’.
“There was a time a couple of years ago I thought ‘do you know what, why am I playing rugby?’ because I’m constantly coming home in a foul mood with my wife and kids all because some clown has said something about me.
“I thought: ‘is it easier if I just walk away from the game and never have that again? Or do I suck it up and think, right no matter what I do, you’re always going to get heat’.”
Hogg apologised to Scotland staff and players after he and five others were disciplined for visiting a bar after the Six Nations win against Italy earlier this year.
He was among players subsequently left out of Scotland’s summer tour squad as Gregor Townsend opted to let them rest for the summer after long seasons with their respective clubs.
The national head coach said there was no guarantee Hogg would return as captain in November, but the full-back is feeling refreshed and loving rugby and life in Exeter.
“We spend a lot of time on the beach,” he said. “I’m in the sea most days and we spend a lot of time in the countryside with the horses.”
Hogg says he was “in dreamland” when Exeter won the Premiership and European Champions Cup double in 2020 and believes they have reset their goals for another good season after last term’s seventh-place finish.
“The time I’ve had here, I’ve learned so much about myself as a player, as a person, about my body that I’m probably in my best physical place I can be, the best mental place I can be,” he added.
